I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
