Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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