I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
