saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
