if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
