At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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