$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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