on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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