well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
COCAINE IS GR8
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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