wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
