Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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