im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
