I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Randomize
