I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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