I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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