Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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