i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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