Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
