I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
