your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We left the knife in your bed.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
