There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I touched a dick in church today
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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