I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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