I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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