So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
