Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
