How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
