Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
