My hand turned me down
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
