Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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