and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
As shirtless as possible
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Randomize
