i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
