But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
