vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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