the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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