You just made me feel so damn special
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
