FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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