I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
