mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
