sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
