he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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