My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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