God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
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