Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Randomize
