Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My hand turned me down
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
