Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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