we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
