we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
