Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
