So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
