eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
