Well douche your snatch and let's go!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
